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Emma's story

We were newly married, brought our first home, had a successful business, and ready to start a family. Little did we know it was going to be so hard. We were both very healthy, ate good food, lots of exercise and young (31 and 26), so I thought when I stopped taking the contraceptive pill, that after a few months, I’d just fall pregnant. That seemed to happen to everyone else. Not us!

After 6 months of trying and me not regaining my period, my doctor asked me to get an ultrasound. I was shocked to find out that I had a dermoid cyst the size of a tennis ball on my left ovary. I was devastated. Without medical insurance, I was told it could be up to 4 months on the public waiting list till I could have surgery. I felt like my chance of having a baby was slowly slipping away.

Fortunately, the wait was only 2 months. They removed the cyst without having to remove my ovary. The surgery was a success. It was a quick recovery, and within 6 weeks, we were meeting with a consultant at Wellington hospital to discuss next steps.

The consultant put me on Clomiphene to try and bring on ovulation, something that I wasn’t doing naturally as I wasn’t menstruating. Each cycle took about 8 weeks, and this included taking medication to bring on my menstrual cycle, then 5 days of clomiphene to bring on ovulation, having intercourse between day 10-20 (every second day) and then on day 21, taking a blood test to see if I’d ovulated and could possibly have a chance of getting pregnant. All my cycles failed, and each time they increased the amount of medication. This was heart-breaking again. Another 6 months down the drain and still not pregnant. I was referred to Fertility Associates in Wellington. I was under the impression that they may just put me on stronger drugs to bring on ovulation, but this was not the case.

It felt like ages till we finally got an appointment with Fertility Associates, but the day finally came, and we met with Dr Murray who was amazing. He recommended we start IVF. We weren’t expecting this news and were both a bit shocked. Me, IVF, I’m so young! Fortunately, because of my medical history, we made it on the waiting list straight away but it would be an 18 months wait. 18 months!! I couldn’t comprehend waiting that long. The other option was paying privately, 13K. Fortunately, we were able to fund this and we started straight away.

The actual IVF cycle went fast. Within a month, I could be pregnant. Our chances were good, about 45-50% because of my age and I had a high AMF level (egg level). With this in mind, we both believed it would work and we’d be lucky. We had a good cycle. Fertility Associates collected 7 eggs, 5 which fertilised and 1 that formed a blastocyst. We were over the moon. The 2 week wait was awful. Every day was like ground hog day until day 14 when we took our blood test. It came back negative. I really don’t know how to explain how I felt. Only someone who has been through this knows. Even when I try to explain it to people, they really don’t understand. I cried for days. Each day became easier but it still felt like our dream of having a family was slipping away.

There was a 1 month stand down until we could meet with Dr Murray again at Fertility Associates. We went into that meeting not knowing what we were going to do or what he was going to say. There was no reason why our IVF didn’t work. It just sometimes happens. It’s hard to get your head around, but it is what it is. It wasn’t our time. He suggested we go ahead with another cycle and he would increase my follicle stimulating medication. We decided to go ahead and fund another cycle.

Throughout the first cycle, we both believed that IVF would make a baby. A bit like having an operation. But what you realise, is that so much is still up to human nature. When they put that embryo back, you have no control. We both went into the second cycle far more pragmatic and realistic. I believed the whole way through that this wasn’t going to work, to the point that I was telling myself that it wouldn’t work. I didn’t want to get my hopes up again and then have the hurt at the end of it when it failed.

The cycle went like clockwork. Pretty much like the first one, and I did respond to the follicle stimulating medication far better this time, and my oestrogen and everything rose like it should. We were both a bit dishearten, when they only collected 5 eggs this time, and only two fertilised. I really thought our chances were at zero now, far worse than cycle 1. Because we only had two eggs fertilised, they did an embryo transfer on day 3 instead of day 5, and put the embryo back that looked most developed. I opted to have acupuncture before and after egg transfer, something they suggest you can do if you want. I thought why not? I’ve spent another 13K, what’s another $200.

The two-week wait was agonising again but not as much as the first cycle. I tried not to look for symptoms this time which helped. We truly had no idea what we were going to do if this failed. Probably wait 18 months till we were entitled to free IVF which would have been awful, but this is what we would have done.

They say not to take a pregnancy test before the blood test because that can sometimes show an incorrect result. I was having what I thought was period pains the night before, so I whipped over to the shops to get sanitary products and a pregnancy test. I just wanted to know either way. I did the test when I got home and I thought I saw a faint double line. It was so faint that I couldn’t really take it as 100% but it was more than I’d ever seen on a pregnancy test before. Looking back, I think it made it worst doing that test, so I recommend not doing it.

D day came and I had my blood test in the morning and we got a call at 11.45am saying it was POSITIVE. I couldn’t believe it and just cried. My husband had to ask the nurse if she was sure it was positive. We were over the moon. It was so surreal and we couldn’t believe it worked this time.

The first 12 weeks were really long until we got out of that dangerous miscarriage zone. But we did and it was the most wonderful and joyful experience to everyone the news. Everyone is so happy and we are now 6 months pregnant, due 27 March 2017. I still can’t believe how lucky we are, and pinch myself every day. We also feel very blessed that we could fund IVF and we will never take this for granted. We can’t wait to meet our baby and will never forget what Dr Murray and Fertility Associates has done for us.

Challenges and decisions

I think the biggest decision we had to make was if to go ahead with a second IVF cycle. The first one was a no brainer, but investing another 13K into something that was under a 50% chance was a hard decision, also frustrating when you see so many people getting pregnant naturally. However, Dr Murray explained that the chances do increase with each IVF cycle so we felt comfortable giving it another go.

Impact on our relationship

I am very lucky to have an extremely positive husband who always picked me up when I was down. He was the strong one throughout the whole process, but it’s easy to forget that even though men generally don’t show a lot of emotion, it doesn’t mean they’re not hurting. Also, compared to some people fertility journey’s ours has been short. I can’t be sure what the impact would have been, if we had be trying for 5-10 years and how long we would have tried for.

 

Update

Emma and her husband have now had a happy healthy baby girl - Penelope - weighing 2.6kgs!  Congratulations!